the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
