A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
