i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Pants are for mortals
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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