It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize