Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
