So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize