i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
