Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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