ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
