i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I will be naked everywhere
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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