You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
