There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
