we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
