so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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