I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize