Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
