His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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