just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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