White coat. Heels.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
