u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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