i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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