from now on my penis is your penis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize