I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
