If i come over, it means nothing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
