that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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