so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm too high and old for this...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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