I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
