Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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