...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
