I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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