was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize