I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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