im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"