He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.