I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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