he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
