We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
