Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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