I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
