i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
