Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
