the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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