just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
