NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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