Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
