We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
