I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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