I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
