Im at strip club and am horny
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
