Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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