Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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