It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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