god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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