I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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