Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
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I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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