What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
