Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
