HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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