Why are handjobs necessary in class?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
