He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize